My Voice

I have a speech impairment resulting from my disability. To be honest, I haven’t always liked my voice because it sounds so much different from everyone else’s.

When I first began going through these doubts I was young, and also going through the ugly duckling stage. Nothing is quite right during that stage, even if your parents insist you’re the most beautiful creature on Earth. I think all good parents tell their children that to build their confidence. It must be in the parenting handbook.

My older brother Jay always knows what I’m saying. If my mother doesn’t quite understand me, he will interpret. It’s funny, because even when I’m tired and not speaking my best, Jay still can understand me. It’s a sibling thang.

Still, with all the reinforcement I received from my parents and siblings, I continue to be frustrated with my voice at times. You would be, too, if every time you went to talk someone he or she looked at you as though you are speaking a foreign language. I was getting angry and sick of the unknowing, blank look on people’s faces.

One of the best things forced on me during my school years was speech therapy. My speech pathologists were great. They taught many techniques, like breaking down words and forming my lips and mouth so people would understand me. The same techniques I was taught more than 25 years ago are the same methods I use now to help people understand me.

But what really helped me begin to use and actually like my voice is my love for pizza! In the seventh grade, the speech pathologist who knew I loved pizza made me proposition: If I ordered a pizza from Cassano’s (which happens to be my favorite), she would pay for it.  The deal was sweetened when she added she would not only pay for my very own personal deluxe pizza, but also three one-topping pizzas for all my friends in homeroom special education class with me.

I thought about that deal for a week. Cassano’s pizza for lunch, along with my besties to enjoy it, weighed heavily on my mind. I also wondered if the person who was taking my order by phone would understand me? Ordering one pizza was hard, but now it was four. I was stressed!

Mind over matter eventually convinced me to take my speech pathologist up on her offer. I practiced for two weeks and successfully ordered the pizzas! It was hard but worth it. That was the best pizza I ever had. I was a shero to my friends!

We all have something we don’t like about ourselves, but if we don’t accept it, how can we expect others to? My voice is a tool of empowerment and it’s still different, but I have grown to love it. I use it to speak up for my rights, enlighten the world, and order pizza!