Owning My Truth By Donna Lavoie

June is Pride Month!

Welcome guest blogger Donna Lavoie as she shares how acceptance enhanced her family’s dynamics.


It seems like this year is flying by.  Here we are at the beginning of June. Pride Month is celebrated here in the U.S. and across the world. Recognizing those who identify as LGBTQ+. For my family, it has been just June in the past. But this year, I have a new understanding of Pride Month.

My husband and I have raised two ginger daughters. I have no idea where the red hair comes from. But one lesson I always stressed to my girls was “own your truth” whether it was good or bad. This blog is me owning my truth.

My oldest daughter came out to me several years ago. And I, to put it bluntly, did everything wrong. Even though I read all those parenting books on how to raise strong women who were inclusive.

When she told me she was gay, I paused. And looking back on it, I feel like it was a long pause. When I did finally speak, I told her that I loved her, and I accepted she was gay. My pause or silence was never about her being gay. I do and always will love her with all my heart for who she is.

But during that pause, all I kept thinking about was my dream for her. You know that dream you have for each of your kids. How she will get great grades in school, be a star journalist, get married and have a family. And the whole family would get together for holidays and birthdays.

I have since come to realize that my dream for her was only that – my dream.  But since that day, that thought that she could not get married and have children was always in the back of my mind.

I don’t know why I thought that. I believe same sex partners should be able to get married and have a family of their own. If someone came up to me and said my daughter could not get married or have a family because she was gay. I would go Jersey on them.  (I don’t know if going Jersey on someone is a real thing. But it is what my family refers to when I, born and raised in NJ,  become, let’s say very vocal, defending my children)

I struggled with why I couldn’t let this go.  But recently, I was finally able to let go. I don’t know what it was, maybe the fact that everyone in the family knew. I felt I did not have the right to out her to the rest of the family.

Recently when I was dwelling on that thought in the back of my mind, I pushed back. She can do all those things in my dream, IF that’s her choice.

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